2/19/2010

My Unassisted Pregnancy and Miscarriage with Blighted Ovum at Twelve Weeks

     I originally posted this for myself, but I have found since posting it that many women have come across this blog while trying to prepare for their own miscarriage. This is for those women: I am so deeply sorry that you are here and facing the loss of your baby. I hope that reading through my experience can help to prepare you in some way or give you a better understanding of what you may have already experienced. I will warn you, there are pictures and there is a lot of blood.

     I was posting on my birth board about what was happening throughout my pregnancy, and I have put those posts together here. This was my fourth pregnancy, second unassisted pregnancy, and first miscarriage.


Dec 13th approximately 11wk4d

     I've had a really strong feeling for the past few days that this baby isn't going to make it. Thinking back my symptoms have been getting better over the past two weeks and are basically gone now. My uterus hasn't grown since Nov 25th and even my milk supply is nearly back to normal. The last two or three days I've had tan/brown discharge when I wipe. Today I've felt my cervix stretching and had more definite brown discharge this morning. This evening I lost my mucus plug after a bowel movement. It was the same as it was with my labors, a glob of stretchy and gelatinous goo streaked with blood (brown this time instead of pink or clear as with my labors). I've had some odd pains in the side of my uterus where I believe the baby implanted, but nothing terrible. Still no cramps or red blood, but I have been DOG TIRED and a little sick feeling all day.

Dec 14th

     Afternoon: My uterus measured 8 cm this morning, it was 10cm nearly three weeks ago, I can hardly feel it anymore. I had cramps last night I couldn't tell where they were coming from, bowels or uterus. Had a loose stool this morning, I always get diarrhea before labor. I went pee this afternoon and when I wiped there was red blood that immediately became enough to nearly soak a pad. It really hit me when I saw the red blood, I cried momentarily when I told Brian I was going to need a garbage can in the bathroom.
     Evening: Things slowed back down bleeding wise but I feel like my hormones are crashing. I get hot all of the sudden, almost sweating, I'm getting headaches and getting dizzy, then I'll feel fine. I feel a weight in my lower abdomen. I keep thinking I need to go to the bathroom but nothing comes of it. My cervix feels stretched, like after you give birth. The blood smells just like lochia and is watery/slimy too. Still no cramps.

Dec 15th

     Today started off with just some brown spotting but it turned to dark red blood, enough to get on a pad. When I got up to make dinner I had mild cramps and my back, butt and vuvla got really sore, the bleeding picked up a little. I feel like I'm on my period but not as much blood. Still measuring 8cm, I should be 12wks tomorrow.

Dec 16th

     Today started the same but by this evening my bleeding has become bright red and like a light period. I can push out blood while on the toilet and every time I sit down to pee a little bit drips out on it's own. Still a little sore but not as bad as yesterday and still no cramps. I got my floradix and chlorophyll today so I'll be taking those for the next few weeks. I actually realized today that there probably will be a baby; like there is probably a baby inside of me that is going to come out......a dead baby..... and I will see it...... and have to do something with it. I was in denial of that before, trying to figure it out now.

Dec 17th

     Today started uneventful. A little red blood last night. I was sore in my pelvic area during breakfast. I started having very mild cramps around 11am. Soon after I sat down to pee and a contraction hit. It felt just like early labor. I sat there and it got worse, quickly feeling like active labor. I had to moan and breathe through them. I moved to the living room and labored over a colander and chux pad most of the time from 11:30 to 3:00 when I finally passed the placenta with a sac the size of a large globe grape on it. The sac was empty. The placenta was way too big and in pieces. I passed big clots and parts of placenta the whole time but when the sac came out I instantly felt 100% better. I'd been in laborland, it was very weird knowing there would be no baby at the end of it.



Placenta with sac before I opened it, the sac is between my thumbs, the placenta is baby side up in my hand and it's torn:


This is the maternal side where the placenta was attached to my uterus:


Empty sac opened up:


Clots and placenta on a chux:


Clots in colander:


Blood on chux, there was more in the tub and toilet:


     I passed four liquid ounces of clots and placenta. I only really bled when I pushed after a contraction. Lots of blood ended up in the toilet too, I was there with the colander under me for the first 30 minutes at least. A few times I got real weak and warm and felt like I was going to sleep, I just prayed through it. I don't know how much blood I lost but I feel tired and weak and have a headache. Med-heavy period bleeding now. I hope these help someone.


     7wk Update: I suffered from low progesterone and a pretty severe estrogen dominance for the first month after my m/c. I had a very fast heartbeat and splitting headache that landed me in the ER misdiagnosed with postpartum thyroiditis. After a couple of weeks on the medication to control my heartrate I got some wonderful advice about estrogen dominance and I took myself off of the meds and switched to progesterone cream. My symptoms went away entirely and I quickly got to where I did not need the cream. 
I bled for 1 week after the m/c and ovulated one week after the bleeding stopped.

     It's been over three years since this, my first of many miscarriages, happened. I have had many women thank me for these pictures and for sharing my story. I've also been accused of being cold and my entire post unnecessary. Please understand that this was written as I experienced it and I felt an urgency to share it. When I was facing my first miscarriage I had no idea what to expect. I simply wanted to help other women in that position. If I come across as cold, it is only because I was so deeply in shock and disconnected at the time.